Dear Microsoft Word,
I’d like to formally introduce myself. My name is Tasha, and for the record, when I got my laptop and you underlined my name with that patronising little red squiggle, it hurt a bit. I know you’re probably used to your luxury life, hanging out inside my laptop, and thinking ‘Awh, poor dear. She doesn’t even know how to spell!’ Well, I most certainly can.
My name is not a spelling error. Yes, my parents decided that giving me a nickname as a first name was a good idea, but I can assure you, that is my name, and I’m rather certain I’ve been spelling it right for my fifteen and a half years of life.
Now, I’m not one to share my last name, but I can assure you that that is not an error, either. Yes, it sounds like a word in the English dictionary, but it is spelt differently. I know you’re not used to this spelling, but it is rather insulting that you think you can spell my name better than me.
Another thing I’d like to discuss is your habit of using your little green squiggle. I will put this in short: My grammar is usually immaculate, thank you. I find your little comments when I right-click on said line, such as ‘Fragment (Consider Revising)’, rather rude.
When you say this, I imagine myself reading a revision guide entitled: Microsoft Word’s Guide to Get Grammar as Perfect as I do, which is rather vain, don’t you think?
So for the record, I apologise for clicking ‘ignore’ when you do this to me, because I really wouldn’t like to revise. I did enough of that last year whilst cramming for my GCSEs. Just so you know, Word – I passed English. So I don’t need your help when writing.
So now, when you correct things that ought not to be corrected, I shall get payback. I find ‘Add to Dictionary’ rather effective, even if the word is an error. I just don’t like being wrong, and it seems neither do you. So we’re both in a losing game, and even though neither of us can win, I will not give up.
You’ve been warned.
Sincerely, Tasha.
P.S. I know the full stop after my name in the previous line is bugging you, which is why I put it there. Haha, Word. Haha.
I’d like to formally introduce myself. My name is Tasha, and for the record, when I got my laptop and you underlined my name with that patronising little red squiggle, it hurt a bit. I know you’re probably used to your luxury life, hanging out inside my laptop, and thinking ‘Awh, poor dear. She doesn’t even know how to spell!’ Well, I most certainly can.
My name is not a spelling error. Yes, my parents decided that giving me a nickname as a first name was a good idea, but I can assure you, that is my name, and I’m rather certain I’ve been spelling it right for my fifteen and a half years of life.
Now, I’m not one to share my last name, but I can assure you that that is not an error, either. Yes, it sounds like a word in the English dictionary, but it is spelt differently. I know you’re not used to this spelling, but it is rather insulting that you think you can spell my name better than me.
Another thing I’d like to discuss is your habit of using your little green squiggle. I will put this in short: My grammar is usually immaculate, thank you. I find your little comments when I right-click on said line, such as ‘Fragment (Consider Revising)’, rather rude.
When you say this, I imagine myself reading a revision guide entitled: Microsoft Word’s Guide to Get Grammar as Perfect as I do, which is rather vain, don’t you think?
So for the record, I apologise for clicking ‘ignore’ when you do this to me, because I really wouldn’t like to revise. I did enough of that last year whilst cramming for my GCSEs. Just so you know, Word – I passed English. So I don’t need your help when writing.
So now, when you correct things that ought not to be corrected, I shall get payback. I find ‘Add to Dictionary’ rather effective, even if the word is an error. I just don’t like being wrong, and it seems neither do you. So we’re both in a losing game, and even though neither of us can win, I will not give up.
You’ve been warned.
Sincerely, Tasha.
P.S. I know the full stop after my name in the previous line is bugging you, which is why I put it there. Haha, Word. Haha.
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